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Have you ever wondered why people just ignore your request?  

Ever have someone work for you that consistently looks and acts disengaged until you pressure them for your request again?  

Would you like to have people that are engaged?  I think most of us would say yes to that right?

When I teach people about building greater levels of engagement and influence with those around them, I have to remind most of the people that it all starts with us.  That is right if we don’t focus on building rapport then we shouldn’t expect others to step up?  See people want to feel valued and by us investing into them, they will feel valued.


Whether we are coaching, are a boss, sitting with a client, interviewing, or anytime we encounter another person, we need to be able to build rapport quickly. People form their first impressions of others in less than 60 seconds. Two questions “Do I like you? and Do I trust you?” are answered in that 60 seconds.  If we want influence, then we need to be able to answer those two questions quickly.  That is why we need to have rapport.

People also associate with others that they know, like, and trust.  I have even heard of people being hired because they were more relatable even though they were not the most qualified.  Isn’t that interesting.  Rapport building is an essential skill to have if we are going to interact with other people.  Especially if we want to grow influence with those people.

So how do we build rapport?

Here are four ways that I build rapport with others:


Be Helpful

Be willing to help others with whatever I am capable to help with.  Go the extra mile to help others even when we think we have done enough.  One step further…  It could be jumping in to help unload something that the person we are meeting with is trying to unload from a truck without trying to get something from them in return.  It could also be helping sweep up a mess that has happened for the customer while they are trying to fill an order, or sending follow up note to the person that the task was completed for them by our organization.  Being genuine and helpful will go a long way at building rapport with people.  Not trying to leverage the interaction with others.


Be Intentional Curious

By being intentional curious I mean valuing others that you’d like to learn about them.  This can be done by researching others on social media such as Linkedin, Facebook, local associations they are affiliated with, google etc.  Being intentional to learn about those people and their interests are very impactful.  Not just to gain leverage, but to be intentionally curious about them and hear them.  


Be Respectful

People want to feel valued and that they are important.  Why not make them feel that way?  Let them know that we have their back and are willing to do the work with them.  Call them sir or ma’am shows respect.  Using their name (sweetest sound to any person is their own name), using our manners, asking them questions.  By being respectful we are showing respect and who doesn’t like some R.E.S.P.E.C.T.?


Be Enthusiastic 

Show some enthusiasm with the person we are talking to.  Use humor, make them feel comfortable, and lower the anxiety.  People that smile and make people laugh are far more enjoyable.  These people build rapport more so than someone who walks around like the Winnie the Pooh character Eeyore that moped around and never showed excitement.  People like to be around light hearted and fun people.  Show some enthusiasm and energy.  People gravitate towards others that are full of energy.

There you have it, think of H.I.R.E. when you are looking to build rapport.  Focus on others and help them get to where they way to go, be respectful and be enthusiastic in order to build rapport.  We want the person to like us so much that they can’t think of anyone else they would rather talk to for our subject matter.

If you are interested in building more influence follow click here to my course and I will guide you in the principals on how to answer the three questions that everyone asks at each interaction.  

Have a great weekend.


Kevin Sidebottom


“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”